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How to Be Desirable

Improving your success in life may boil down to choosing the right friends, mates and partners. Your physical appearance and personality traits play a large part in how desirable you are to new people. Review the best ways to optimize your desirability before your next night out or next job interview.

Method 1 of 2: Personality Desirability

  1. 1
    Be relaxed. A carefree attitude is very desirable, because so many people feel stressed and worried. They desire relationships that are positive and wo
  2. 2
    Be passionate about something. Employers, family members, friends and partners appreciate someone who has life goals. Whether it’s work,
  1. Method 2 of 2: Physical Appeal
    Give thought to your appearance. Don’t leave the house with wet hair, sweat pants or with mismatched socks. Generally, a few extra minutes ironing a shirt, shaving and combing your hair will improve your desirability.
    • A 1997 scientific study found that “self-care” factors had more influence on attractiveness than height, body type or other unchangeable attributes.[1]
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    Foster a sense of style. Invest in clothing that fits your body. You don’t need to buy “sexy” clothing, but both men and women respond to people who are self-aware and present themselves well. [2]
    • Make sure you are dressing your age and accentuating your best traits.
    • If you need help with this step, ask a person who’s style you like where they get their clothes. Ask someone of the opposite sex what looks best on you when you go shopping.
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    Exercise. A person who exercises shows discipline and an interest in health.
    • If you are a woman and you want to work out in order to maximize your desirability, measure your waist circumference and your hip circumference. Divide the former by the latter. Aim for a decimal below 0.8, which is a sign of an hourglass figure.[3]
    • If you are a man and you want to work out to maximize your desirability, aim to have a higher waist to shoulder circumference. Many women and men find a triangle torso more desirable than a flabby midsection.
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    Value your health. Desirability in a mate has its roots in finding a healthy partner for procreation. Eat a healthy diet, get plenty of activity and avoid habits like smoking and binge drinking.[4]
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    Draw attention to your lips. Use lip balm, or if you are a woman, use red lipstick. In a social setting, plump, red lips are attractive and sensual.[5]
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    Give the appearance of wealth. An expensive watch or nice coat may attract someone who is looking for a good provider. Although this might not be a lasting connection, it can lead to more options for partners.[6]
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    Have good posture. Standing up straight with your shoulders back projects confidence, physical health and height. Consider consulting a physical therapist if you find it hard to change your posture on your own.

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